This week M+K sits across the table with Susan Verde, NY Times Bestselling Author, Yoga + Mindfulness Teacher. The pandemic has been a difficult period for children and parents alike, with school closures, high levels of anxiety and missed opportunities for social interaction. Mindfulness is a practical tool that can help manage challenging emotions, but it can also be hard to know where to start. We spoke to Susan to get some easy tips that parents can incorporate into daily life – no fancy app subscription required.
1. What are the key issues facing young children since the start of the pandemic? What trends have you seen in your work?
I think the biggest shift has been inability to socialize and interact in the world as a child might normally do. Although younger children often enjoy spending more time with their parents (as opposed to teens) too much time at home and away from other kids is incredibly stressful for children. Parents have been trying to juggle so many things and keep their own anxiety under control, but children are very ware and attuned to the emotions of their adults. I have noticed that kids need more tools to help handle their big emotions such as fear and sadness and also more reassurance and sentiments of love and support.
2. What is ‘mindful parenting’?
Mindful parenting is really just parenting with presence and with an intention of being there with your kids in the moment. It doesn’t mean you can’t get upset or that you don’t make mistakes or lose your patience. That is an impossible bar to set. It means practising paying attention and responding by choice to situations rather than reacting.
3. How does mindfulness (formal and informal) support children?
Mindfulness teaches children to notice their own experience with curiosity and be kinder to themselves. The practices of mindfulness such as deep nostril breathing and using their senses and finding ways to create peaceful moments allows them the opportunities to name their feelings and helps them self-regulate and make better choices that support them and those around them. When they have the tools of mindfulness, they have some autonomy and learn that they are allowed to care for themselves.
4. What are the key ways parents can support children managing feelings of anxiety and other difficult emotions?
One of the best ways to help kids manage their emotions and feelings is to be a model for them. When you show your children how you take care of yourself in moments of stress and are open about it, they too learn how to help themselves. It is wonderful to practice things like deep slow breathing in and out through your nose and naming your feelings with your kids. Letting them know that you recognize how they are feeling and that having feelings is okay can be really helpful too. If they feel seen in a moment of stress, they will also feel supported.
5. Any tips on teaching children mindfulness?
When teaching mindfulness have a plan but then let it go. Things most often don’t look the way we think they will. Start small with practices like belly breathing or mindful eating. These little things that help cultivate awareness of one’s own experience and can be fun. There is no perfect just practice.
6. What would you say in response to parents who are intimidated by not being mindfulness teachers themselves?
There is no need to be a mindfulness teacher to practice with your kids. It’s not about sitting for hours and meditating. If you can help your kids to learn how to take a few deep breaths in through their noses you are doing it. If you can guide them to be fully present in an activity you are doing it. The other wonderful thing is that there are so many resources for learning how to practice mindfulness with your kids.
7. What are the best ways to incorporate mindfulness into everyday life?
I can’t say it enough but learning how to take moments for yourself during the day to breathe with intention is the best way to incorporate mindfulness into your everyday. Take advantage of the moments you have even if they are few, to notice your surroundings. When walking to work notice one thing you hear. Look out the window and notice one thing you see. Tap into your senses when you can to ground you and give you a moment to pause and care for yourself. Feel your feet in your shoes, your body in a chair. Get lost in an activity with your kids. All of this is mindfulness in action. And remember, there is no wrong way. Let things go and allow yourself to try again without judgement.
Susan lives by the sea in East Hampton, New York with her three children, their dog, Gizmo and a menagerie of other creatures. Here, she writes books for children of all ages and teaches kids yoga and mindfulness. Her best-selling, award-winning stories range from explorations of music, art and museum visits to the concepts of serendipitous friendships, environmental issues, empathy and humanity with an emphasis on yoga and mindfulness. Susan’s stories celebrate the unique voices and experiences of kids and inspire adults to let their own inner child out. Susan’s books have been translated into multiple languages. For more info about her books, including her New York Times bestselling ‘I Am’ series click here.
To connect visit:
Website: https://www.susanverde.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/susanverdeauthor
Instagram: http://instagram.com/susanverde
Twitter: https://twitter.com/susanverde
