From the cheap noodles we eat at college, to grandma’s freshly baked cakes or mum’s steaming chicken soup when we’re unwell, for everyone, there is a meal that’s not just a meal, but a gateway—to a particular memory, place, person, feeling or time in our lives.
Our relationship to food is a constant one throughout our lives. They say we have three brains – the head, the heart and the stomach – and that the gut (or enteric brain) is linked to our core sense of self. In this way, cooking isn’t just about nourishment; it may also allow us to access deep personal memories, connect with our culture and community, and enable us to create and express our identity.
Mindful cooking presents us with the opportunity to heighten this experience and translate those lessons to other aspects of our life.
For Marmalade + Kindness, mindful cooking is a teacher in patience, acceptance, personal expression, reflection and love.
1. Cultivate patience
Real food takes time and effort. It’s the difference between mindlessly ordering another takeout meal, or committing to planning and making a meal at the end of the day. While there may be a time and place for the first, in the long run, we are unlikely to experience the same satisfaction and control as we do from the second. Our lives are the cumulative effect of our daily habits, and sometimes good things just take time. As in life, it may take years before the opportunities we have been preparing and training for materialise. We must find comfort in the process and joy in the anticipation.
2. Practice acceptance
The process of cooking provides immediate feedback – when we are distracted in the kitchen mistakes happen – we cut ourselves, grab the expired milk, forget about the food on the stovetop, confuse the salt with the sugar… To avoid this awareness is critical, but sometimes we slip. And that is fine. Sometimes we need to accept what is unfolding and not allow stress to govern our experience. We need to learn to accept outcomes. Our first attempts may not be great, but we must continue if we are to improve. For some, the challenge may be accepting compliments with grace, rather than shying away.
3. Express yourself
There is an art to following the directions in a recipe and mastering fundamental cooking techniques. However, beyond this, the recipe is merely a guide – you need to develop an awareness of your tastes and have the confidence to express them. Cooking is an outlet for creativity, improvisation and instinct. You are cooking for you (and your family), so you are the judge of your efforts. Make sure you satisfy yourself.
4. Prioritise reflection
Cooking is all about adjustment – paying attention, using the senses, and being flexible. But sometimes we don’t get the balance right. Rather than labelling yourself as ‘not good at something’ because of one experience, use reflection constructively. Treat it like a science experiment. What worked? What would you change next time to get a different result? We miss opportunities for growth in life when we don’t take the time to reflect. Through the challenge, be open to the lesson.
5. Act out of love
The kitchen table is often the centre of family life – a place of laughter, conversation, unity and where the ‘action’ happens. Cooking is a way of taking care of each other. It deepens our relationships and supports our well-being. Acting with love can transform everyday moments into lasting memories. For example, thinking of loved ones (especially those who have passed away) when making a meal; preparing a treasured family recipe; cooking with your partner after a busy week; watching your children stir their first cake batter, or preparing a meal for a friend or neighbour. Setting a loving intention before we cook encourages us to extend this feeling of warmth to other aspects of our life.
